


Icarus

by punk_assnerd



Series: Icarus and his Sun [1]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Inspired by Poetry, Poetry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-22
Updated: 2019-07-22
Packaged: 2020-07-11 16:28:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19931044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/punk_assnerd/pseuds/punk_assnerd
Summary: Wonwoo meets up with someone he's known for a long time,  for the first time.





	Icarus

**Author's Note:**

> Just something I had to get out of my chest

Wonwoo lets himself relax. He closes his eyes, takes a deep breath, and imagines that he's alone in the room. 

It works. He's alone. He's alone and he's fine. He's alone and he's fine.

Wonwoo has never been one for bars. Not even those resto bars Jeonghan had grown to love to eat dinner with whenever they hung out. Wonwoo always gets this kind of sticky feeling on his skin whenever he's surrounded by dim lights and the soft murmur of a buzz that's there, but never really quite there. He has this feeling, the feeling you get when you know you're about to get caught, the choking feeling of inescapable fate, whenever he goes inside a bar. He really has no idea why but Wonwoo has never been one for bars.

So he has absolutely no idea why the hell would he say yes to meeting someone he had met online in a shady looking resto bar in the middle of what looked like an old strip mall that's now half garden and half dying businesses. 

You see, the guy he met, assuming that he didn't lie about being a guy, got to know him through his work. Well, Wonwoo's hidden work, at least. 

Wonwoo's an architecture student but he's always been one for literature. Books, poems, ballads, odes, stories. The whole lot of them. He'd been fascinated by the mere idea of making a whole universe with just mere words that he had taken on a whole new persona as he talks to anyone about his poems.

He goes by as Icarus Fray. He posts anonymously on a poetry website whenever he makes something up, not really expecting it to blow up, but it did. He never knew there were people out there in the world who could acknowledge and even experience the world the way that he does. How people admire how he sees the world and how people can see how he sees the world. But they do. People understand and people acknowledge him and his words. And one of them had gotten close to him.

Wonwoo had posted one poem about the choice of being a good son or a good student. He was recently kept occupied by his school work piling up that his family, his dad, thought that maybe he should be more 'considerate' of his family and pay them more attention. Wonwoo would be glad to, really. He has nothing against his family. But the thing is you can't be laid back and hang out with your family without it affecting your work. Or maybe someone can, but Wonwoo definitely can't. So Wonwoo, sitting alone and cold on his small desk chair at the side of his dorm with a mechanical pencil in one hand and his pride in the other, skipped Christmas and New Years at home and spent it alone in the solitude of his cold and sad dorm. And that's what inspired his poem. 

The way parents think that you're purposely leaving them out of our life when in reality you're just living your life right right now so it won't go wrong somewhere along the way. How sometimes parents would speak of sacrifices and losses but would disregard sacrifices you'd make for them and the losses you experienced from them. How sometimes, in life, you can only either be a good student, or a good son.

And that's what caught his attention. 

It started with a slightly formal email. He had complimented Wonwoo, or rather, Icarus, on his works and that he said his favorite was 'good student'. Wonwoo had replied with a barely formal letter, thanking the other for the opinions he had on the poem and thanking him for actually taking the time to read his works. And after that, it just snowballed downhill.

The emails turned into a small message box in their Gmail accounts, then exchanging twitter handles, Wonwoo giving his poetry account instead of his personal account and the guy does the same. Wownoo had been scolded by Jeonghan for at least a dozen times for interacting with a possible sexual predator lurking the internet and Wonwoo rolls his eyes. It's not like sexual predators would analyse his poems just to get into his pants.

But the context of someone genuinely showing interest in his works in that way, Wonwoo would definitely find it sort of hot. 

But that's not the point.

The point is, the guy he'd been messaging for almost a year now had asked to meet Wonwoo in a public place and had asked Wonwoo if he could perform, or read out, one of Wonwoo's poems in an open mic night in one of the restobars Jeonghan had gone into. Wonwoo sas yes, because he doesn;t mind as long as he gets recognition as Icarus. But the guy asked him to come in, too. To watch him as he reads out his poem. Because What says romantic than a night out with someone who knows all your vulnerability and can name your demons one by one. And Wonwoo knew in an instant that he'd never subject himself to that kind of pain and humiliation; using his voice in front of a crowd and willingly show them who he is, how he is on the inside. No. Wonwoo's not one for public attention. That's more of Apollo's nature.

Oh yeah. The guy made an alias, Apollo, based on Wonwoo's Icarus. Wonwoo didn't find it sweet at all, really. Not one bit. And he's decided on a nickname, Sol, because Apollo feels a bit too much for him. 

"You know, if this guy turns out to be some wrinkly old geezer with a sex dungeon in his basement, I'd be really pissed off and also be really sorry for you." Jeonghan says from beside him and Wownoo rolls his eyes.

"No one invited you here." Wonwoo reminded him and Jeonghan scoffs.

"Wonwoo, you have never been as excited as this about anything! You like you're about to meet Charles Dickens and John Green." Jeonghan says and Wonwoo throw a couple of soggy fries on the elder's face. 

"Yeah, so? Still not used to me showing emotions?" Wonwoo jokes and regretted it instantly when Jeonghan's face soured.

"Sorry." 

"You know how i feel about you joking about that stuff." 

"Jeonghan, it's fine. Sorry. Just a natural self defense against the world."

"Crude humor about your mental health is your self defense against the world?" 

"You'll feel better with people laughing at you when you laugh _with them_." Wonwoo adds and Jeonghan sighs dramatically.

"You've had one bottle and you're already like this." Jeonghan says and Wonwoo scoffs.

"I'm always like this." Wonwoo defends and Jeonghan rolls his eyes.

"I'm gonna order more food. Stay here. Don't interact with any strangers until i get back."

"Sure dad." Wonwoo jokes and Jeonghan hits him lightly on the back of his head as he stands up.

Wonwoo scans the place. The room was quite narrow, really, but the high ceilings make up for it. He notices a few familiar faces around the place from people in their uni but he doesn't know them enough to remember their names. And just as his eyes was to the entrance, a group of four guys came in and Wonwoo was shocked to see that one of them is Seokmin. The younger sees Wonwoo immediately and calls out to the other three as he heads for Wonwoo. Now Wonwoo understands why Jeonghan picked a long table. 

"What are you doing here?" Wonwoo asks as Seokmin hugs him before taking a seat in front of him. 

"Jeonghan asked me out, and I passed by Sol's place and saw them and found out they're heading here too so i asked hannie to save us a table." Seokmin explained. Wonwoo freaked out at the name and Seokmin must've sensed it and laughed.

"Oh right. You know Mingyu, Seungcheol, and Hansol, right." Seokmin says and Wonwoo nods.

Wonwoo know's Mingyu and Seungcheol in his general education courses, he knows both of them are in the engineering department but he's not sure which specific branch. Mingyu had always attracted attention because every professor love him. He's never late, always has good outputs, and he brings them cookies. Wonwoo personally thinks he's just a kissass but he found out recently that he's really just a genuinely nice guy.

Seungcheol was kind of the opposite. He keeps to himself during classes but Wonwoo has literally never met anyone who doesn't know Seungcheol. He's loud, and apparently really nice. One thing he remembers about him whenever he hears his name is the one time he punched a guy to defend a friend of his. He was suspended for a week back then and Wonwoo has always found him interesting since then. Also the fact that he's seen him play basketball shirtless a month back with his whole body out in the open is a plus. But Wonwoo's never the one to act on his physical attractions. 

Hansol though... well... Wonwoo suspects that Hansol is Sol. Or Apollo. 

Wonwoo knew Hansol through Seokmin. Seokmin was out on his birthday one time with Mingyu and Minghao and the two decided to tease him by singing happy birthday as loud as they can until the whole place was singing too. And if that wasn't enough, a staff came out holding a cupcake with a single lighted candle on top. A few minutes later and they hear someone singing again and they looked around and saw Hansol with his friends in a booth, Hansol hiding his face as the other two sang as loud as they can. Mingyu says he knows one of them, Chan, he's in the same department as him and after that they got along, got to know each other more, and now they're like attached to the hip. He introduces them to Wonwoo and Jeonghan and Wonwoo's list of 'people i know because i'm friends with Seokmin and Jeonghan' keeps getting longer and longer. Wonwoo could meet a few more people on his own but he thinks going out is a waste of time. Time he could use to rest, or finish his work. Seokmin knew better than to force Wonwoo out when they go out but Jeonghan won't relent unless Wonwoo actually has school work to do or if he's so sick that he can't get up. Thankfully, his course takes up seventeen hours of his every day that he always has an excuse to not go.

And the thing is, Even though Seokmin introduced Hansol to him, he got to know him by himself.

They were out that time, going through buckets of cheap beer in a corner of a bar and Wonwoo was feeling a little bit out of place with his glass half full of ice and a can of coke. He told the others he can't drink because he has a lot to do the following day and that he came out just to hang out with them. Wonwoo can't possibly tell them about the meds he's taking and how he can't drink alcohol or else it'll _'complicate'_ things, so he went with the first alibi. Hansol then starts up a conversation with him about acoustics. Acoustics of all things. It was odd, really. Wonwoo just stared as Hansol kept on and on about how acoustics could amplify this and make this feel like this. Then he looks at Wonwoo and laughed.

"You're taking architecture, right?" Wonwoo nods.

"Yeah, I asked Seokmin. This is the only thing i know that's remotely connected to acoustics so you have to like, help me out here. Meet me halfway." And Wonwoo laughs. Everyone on their table stares as he laughs and hansol had this wide smile on his face as he shakes his head. 

Hansol pretends to be offended that Wonwoo would laugh at his attempt to start a conversation and Wonwoo apologizes. Throughout the night they talked and Hansol had switched to coke as well and says it's cause he has to take care of the other half of the group along with Wonwoo.

"Seokmin, we see Wonwoo as much as we see you. Shut up." Seungcheol says and Wonwoo smiles at them.

"You see me _more_ than you see Seokmin. If we're including all the classes."

"We're not including classes because you don't see anyone but the professors during class." Mingyu says as the three of them take their seats and Hansol laughs.

"Well, we thank you for making time for us tonight." Hansol jokes and Seokmin scoffs.

"Technically, we didn't even know you'd be here. And Wonwoo didn't come here for any of us." Seokmin says and Wonwoo kicks his shin under the table. But Wonwoo regrets it immediately when Hansol yelps out in pain from where he's seated next to Seokmin. The rest of them laughed as Wonwoo apologized.

"Don't worry about him, he's being dramatic." Seungcheol says from beside him and Hansol stuck his tongue out at the elder. 

Jeonghan came back with a queueing number and promptly pushes Hansol out of his seat and makes him take the seat at the end of the table, in between Wonwoo and Seokmin. Hansol whines but does as he was told. Their food came in after a few minutes and they all agreed on which drinks they'll be having for the night to order while the waiter was at their table and Wonwoo was surprised when Seungcheol said he's not drinking.

"So you're the designated dad for the night?" Wonwoo asks and Seungcheol smiled a bit bashfully at him.

"Nah, Cheol's going up the stage tonight. Open mic." Hansol says with a huge grin on his face and Seungcheol takes a fry from Wonwoo's plate from earlier and threw it at Hansol. 

"I gotta say, I'm shocked Choi. Never pegged you for the poetry type." Jeonghan says and Wonwoo smiles when Seungcheol starts getting flustered.

"Everyone can just shut up and eat their food now." Seungcheol says and they all laugh.

Their drinks came in, Seokmin showing off and trying to uncap a bottle with just a spoon and Hansol took over after a minute and steals Seokmin's moment by uncapping it by placing it at the edge of the table and hitting the cap with his palm. They drank, Wonwoo enjoying his 'mocktail' with Seungcheol, they ate, they talk about deadlines they missed and deadlines they're about to miss and they talk about things they have to do and things they should do but don't want to. Regular night out with them.

Wonwoo listens to the things they don't say. How Jeonghan's arm is on the back of Seokmin's chair and his full attention is on to Seokmin's face the whole time. How Mingyu laughs at Seokmin's story and how Mingyu's laughter falters when Jeonghan laughs along. How Seungcheol sees Wonwoo seeing Mingyu. Seungcheol's empathetic smile saying 'yeah, i know' as he shrugs his shoulders a bit and his lips curl at the end. And Wonwoo listens to the loudest thing that was left unsaid. How after all that, all of the things happening in their table, Hansol's eyes had never left Mingyu. 

And then Wonwoo hears the soft thud of someone tapping on a mic. 

They're about to start their open mic session and that all the participant for tonight were to get ready. Wonwoo sees their table dispels and redirected their energy to Seungcheol. Hansol and Mingyu hollering as loud as they can, Jeonghan teasing him to not choke on his words or trip on his way up the stage and Seokmin hits Jeonghan in the arm and says encouraging words for Seungcheol. Seungcheol smiles at them and Wownoo can feel his nervousness seeping out of his clothes. So Wonwoo tries to scour his brain for things to do or say to encourage him and his brain comes up with the most basic thing. 

He elbows Seungcheol's side and gave him a smile.

"As long as you don't cry on-stage, you're good." Wonwoo says and Seungcheol lets out a nervous laugh.

The first to go on stage was a tall girl with long black hair swaying behind her, she was wearing a plain black shirt and blue jeans and white sneakers. She takes a seat on stage and she lets out a nervous laugh that rang through the mic. A guy screams _"that's my girlfriend!"_ somewhere in the crowd and everyone burst out laughing, including her. But she visibly relaxes and blows him a kiss. She takes a deep breath and starts.

Her piece was more like the typical poem. With rhymes and counts and a boxed feel to it. But her words were sweet, and almost carefree. She talked about love in the most pure sense of it. She talked about love like it was a gift she wasn't expecting. One line Wonwoo loved was the one at the end.

_"You weren't made for me,_

_And i wasn't made for you._

_But the world would look empty,_

_without your color, your hue."_

She bows and says thank you and one guy stood up and started clapping loud. She laughs as she got off stage and she walked right up to the guy and he wrapped her up in his arms. Wonwoo looks away as the emcee thanks her and announces the next one.

The next one is a guy. A lanky guy wearing a denim jacket and black skinny jeans and black combat boots. Wonwoo thought of Minghao for a second and he smiles when the guy takes off his cap and his hair cascades down his face. 

He's _definitely_ like Minghao. 

His piece was abstract. A bunch of thoughts stitched together by the same emotion, the same feeling, making it all seem like they're all connected. Like a blanket made of old t-shirts or a collage of pictures collected over ten years. It's all over the place but the way he words it makes it feel bounded. Imagine a perfectly made cake with freshly piped icing and instead of putting it in a box and tying a ribbon around it, you tie the ribbon on the cake itself. It's _wrong_ . It _feels_ wrong but it's a validated choice. It's a mistake you have to do to make the right choice. 

_"Don't mistake me for who I'm supposed to be._

_Or from who I want to be._

_Cause we're all three different people_

_Trying not to clash_

_In a world where being you is choice_

_instead of it being true"_

This part had rang inside Wonwoo's head so loud that he missed the other half. Everyone clapped for him as he finished. He let out a soft laugh that got caught in the mic and Wonwoo brought himself to clap along.

The staff then called out Seungcheol's name and everyone in the table cheered for him as he stood up. Wonwoo doesn't have to look around to see how people are staring. This huge and bulky guy wearing skinny jeans and a cool leather jacket over his tight white shirt and completing the outfit with his black converse, going up on stage with his shoulders high and this bright smile on. He takes a seat and takes a deep breath.

"Just a little disclaimer before i start. This piece isn't mine. It's from a really great friend of mine and I asked them if i could share their words to everyone here and they gave me an okay." Seungcheol laughs nervously.

"Well, okay. This is it. This is for you." Seungcheol says, closing his eyes for a second, taking a deep breath, and starting off. 

And Wonwoo stops.

Everything stops.

There Seungcheol is, up on that stage, looking like the same Seungcheol he's known of for the past year or so but also looking like someone he's never seen before as he speaks of love and lost and wings and ghost. As he speaks of loss and as he speaks of losing. As he speaks of discovery and as he speaks of discovering. As Seungcheol looks at everyone in the crowd, looking like himself, but speaking out Wonwoo's words. Wonwoo felt breathless and he felt his skin burn. Because Seungcheol is Sol. Seungcheol is apollo. Seungcheol is the one he has been talking to for the past few months. Seungcheol has been the one he shares his words with.

Seungcheol is Sol. 

**_"in a room full of strangers_ **

**_I'd still know my place is at the back_ **

**_ill keep my head down_ **

**_and look for the confidence i lack"_ **

Wonwoo's words keeps coming out of his mouth and Wonwoo can't stop him. He doesn't want to stop him. 

**_"my days are filled with emptiness_ **

**_it's been days of deafening silence_ **

**_and days with satisfying pain_ **

**_it's been driving me insane regardless of a license_ **

**_but my nights are different_ **

**_they are dull but blue_ **

**_they are peaceful in a way_ **

**_but still my heart is filled with people I can talk to_ **

**_cause my heart is filled with strangers ive loved_ **

**_and it's filled with strangers ive lost_ **

**_and now that i wanna talk about my shitty day_ **

**_I know that talking to them would come with a cost"_ **

Wonwoo wonders for a moment… why this? 

Out of all the poems he and Sol had talked about, why this? 

**_"_ ** **break your heart for me**

**_said the one i loved too much_ **

**_he doesn't smile nor does he frown_ **

**_he looks like we just plainly lost touch"_ **

Wonwoo grimaced at the thought of his first love. He and Jun were high school sweethearts. Star crossed lovers never to cross paths again. He loved him. Wonwoo thinks there's always gonna be a part of his that will love him. He knows that for sure. 

**_"_ ** **sing me a song you know i love**

**_said the love i've had that I had not taken care of_ **

**_he seems genuinely surprised when I told him I can't_ **

**_because i can't remember his favorite songs, the keys are all off"_ **

Wonwoo glanced up at Seokmin and then back up to Seungcheol. The younger had a big heart. Bigger than Wonwoo ever could imagine. He poured his heart out to Wonwoo after the first year they met and Wonwoo had to be honest with him and turn him down. 

But now he thinks he knows which songs to sing. At least he hopes he does. 

**_"_ ** **lets be alone together**

**_said the one who thought i loved too little_ **

**_he can't look me in my eyes but he's holding onto my heart_ **

**_I held onto his hands and crushed my own heart, a things so fickle"_ **

Taeyong's face flashes in his mind. He was a year older, cooler too. He had been there with Wonwoo during his first year in college. He was a sturdy weight to lean on and a damn well good boyfriend to count on. But along the way he feels like Wonwoo could give more. Like Wonwoo _should_ give more. And that's when Wonwoo knew he should give himself more credit for breaking it off with him before it went on and it went darker. 

**_"_ ** **tell me the truth, not your truth**

**_said the love I never knew I could have_ **

**_He's strong and caring but i can't begin to understand his request_ **

**_I told him my truth is all i know and the truth is a thing I can't grab"_ **

Sadly enough, this one is for Jeonghan. They had thought they'd be something, but they knew better than to light that candle. Jeonghan was a spark, a lively, dancing ball of electric fire. And Wonwoo was a barrel of gunpowder, stoic and sturdy but could blow up at any given moment if given the right acceleration. The two of them were a match just as much as a bullet and a gun were. They were a force. They could've been a force. But Wonwoo knew better than to play with his own fires. 

**_"tell me a story, a good and happy one_ **

**_said the one i can ever love truly_ **

**_my reflection stood in front of me, firm, unwavering_ **

**_unlike my faltering soul that began crumbling fully_ **

**_and just like that i'm also a stranger on my own heart_ **

**_lost and fazed, confused and frustratingly hopeless_ **

**_cause my heart is filled with strangers I have loved_ **

**_and now its filled with acquaintances that will never love me back"_ **

  


Wonwoo shakes his head as Seungcheol finishes and everyone started clapping. Seungcheol gave a few small bows before getting down the stage and heading straight back for their table. Mingyu stands up and claps Seungcheol's back as he cheers and Hansol's practically screaming his name. The staff on stage has to tell them to settle down so they can go on with the program and Wonwoo wishes he had made a program of himself. A plan of events he can follow through so he wont feel so stupid and lost sitting next to the person for almost an hour now and only knowing about it now. His program would be;

:Meet up with Jeonghan and Seokmin

:Eat food

:Listen to everyone on stage

:Listen to Sol on stage

:Introduce yourself to Sol as soon as he finished

:Ask them to go out of the place so they can talk somewhere more suitable for actual conversations

:Ask them for their number by the end of the night

:And if Wonwoo miraculously gained some confidence, he'd go for a hug as well. 

But Wonwoo doesn't have a program. No plan to follow and no sequence of events he has to keep in order. So now he has to force his body to breath as everyone turns their back on the next performer as he just stares at Seungcheol's hand on the table as he asks Wonwoo if he can get some of his fries. Wonwoo nods, smiles, and internally freaks out as Seungcheol smiles at him and turns his attention back on stage. After a minute of scolding himself internally, his phone buzzed in his pocket and he pulls it out to see a direct message from Sol on his twitter account.

**_Sol:_ **

**hey**

**did you see?**

**were you here?**

Wonwoo wants to bang his head on the table until it breaks or until he breaks because he has no idea how to tell someone he knows that he's someone he knows. Just thinking about that sentence is screwing up Wonwoo's head. So instead of speaking, he types a message. 

He types, yeah I did, and then deletes it all. 

He types, i did, i got a really good seat and i can see you trying not to freak out, and then deletes it all again.

He types, why don't you turn around ask me properly, and then deletes it all again. He sighs and turns to Seungcheol and sees him looking down on his phone. 

Shit. 

He can see him typing. 

Seungcheol then sighs, his shoulder sags as he locks his phone and places it on the table. Looking at it defeatedly as he sags on his seat. Wonwoo beats himself internally and tries to come up with anything to say, any words he can use to let Seungcheol knows that it's him. But he can't. For the first time in a long while, Wownoo's out of words. 

He stares at his phone and he looks at Seungcheol and his body moved on it's own as he turns up the brightness on his phone and places it on top of Seungcheol's.

Seungcheol looks at him for a second, obviously confused as to what Wownoo was doing, but he looks back on his phone and he squints at it for a good five seconds before his eyes blew wide. He sits up straight and stares at Wonwoo and Wonwoo hears the crowd clapping. They stare at each other for a good minute and Wonwoo watches as Seungcheol's ears start to go red.

"They actually do get red." Wownoo says, smiling as Seungcheol laughs nervously.

"I told you they do." Seungcheol says and he smiles at Wonwoo. 

Wonwoo has no idea what to do now. Here he is, sitting in a bar for more than an hour now next to Seungcheol and only finding out now that he's also sitting next to Sol the whole time. Seungcheol smiles at him and he smiles back as well and somehow Wonwoo feels like that's enough for now but also not enough. He watches as Seungcheol gives him back his phone and he takes his own phone in his hands. Wownoo watches him type something and watches his phone notify him that he's typing something and smiles when he gets the message.

**_Sol:_ **

**So? did I at least give your work justice?**

Wonwoo can't help but snort, he's messaging him when they're right next to each other. It's ridiculous and stupud. But it's them.

**_Me:_ **

**You did, yeah**

**you were a bit antsy tho**

**_Sol:_ **

**I was nervous, okay**

**shut up**

**_Me:_ **

**well you were amazing**

**you did Icarus justice**

**_Sol:_ **

**I'm glad you think so**

And after that, Seungcheol puts down his phone and smiles up at Wonwoo. Wonwoo felt like exploding right then and there and he scolds himself for thinking about this but...

He really wants to kiss him.

He's known Sol for more or less than a year and he's sure he's been in love with him for more than half that time. 

You see, the thing is, when you're wearing a different name, you can be more you than you have ever been before. You don't have to stick to what people expect you to do, you don't have to stick with what people know you'll do. You can just be you. And Sol like's Wonwoo as Icarus. 

He likes how Wonwoo rants, how he complains and lets out his annoyance over the most trivial things. Wonwoo knows he does because he always tells him he does. But now, seeing Seungcheol, thinking it was Seungcheol saying those things... It kind of takes Wonwoo's world out of axis. Wonwoo feels like everything is angled differently, tilted just enough to be subtle but not enough for it to go unnoticed. 

The night passes by around them, the two of them stealing glances at each other and smiling at each other when they catch each other and Wonwoo function on autopilot the whole night, nodding and laughing along with their friends but not really hearing or seeing anyone or anything but Seungcheol. He was so focused on trying not to focus on him that he didn't see the rest of them standing up until Seokmin had called him out.

"You going back to your dorm? You can crash on mine for tonight. Hannie is." Jeonghan smiles at Wonwoo and Wownoo glanced around the table before shaking his head no.

"I'm actually gonna head to the café down the street. The guy I was supposed to meet told me to wait for him there." Wonwoo says and he sees Seungcheol smile from the corner of his eye.

"Wonwoo, I swear, if he ends up being an old pervert-" "Yeah, yeah. You'll be the first one i call if he turns out to be an old pervert with a sex dungeon in his basement." Seungcheol whips his head to Wonwoo and Wonwoo laughs when Hansol and Migngyu does the same.

"He's kidding." Seokmin says. 

"And he's _exaggerating_." Seokmin says as he elbows Jeonghan. 

They pile out of the bar to say their goodbyes and Seungcheol says goodbye to the rest of them as well.

"I'm gonna head back to my dorm as well. I need to finish a few papers." Seungcheol says. 

"Aw, come on! Those aren't due till next week, Cheol." Mingyu whines and Wonwoo watches Seungcheol look at Hansol.

"You two will survive without me for the night." Seungcheol says and Wonwoo chances a glance at Seokmin and Jeonghan and Jeonghan was already sporting this calculating look as he stares at Seungcheol and Wonwoo back and forth. He then leveled his gaze at Wonwoo and Wonwoo rolls his eyes and nods. Then he tilts his head towards Seungcheol and Jeonghan seems to have gotten the message because he winks and pulls Mingyu by the back of his shirt.

"Come on, I'll make sure you two reach your dorm in once piece. Stay safe, you two." Jeonghan calls the last part out over his shoulder and over Mingyu's complaints as Seokmin and Hansol laugh as they follow behind them. Wonwoo turns and starts walking and waits until he hears Seungcheol walking beside him. 

It was quiet between them. Not the suffocatingly awkward quiet and it's not the comfortable quiet either. It just felt like all the static around them are about to blow up, like the air around them isn't actually air but an array of silk curtains they have to push through till they reach the end. They walk close to each other though. Wonwoo can lean on his left leg a bit more and he'd end up brushing his shoulder against Seungcheol's. But he didn't. Now he regrets not getting drunk because he's pretty sure he'd be a lot less loose with his actions if he were a little bit drunk. 

They reach the café, OneCup, in under a couple of minutes and Wonwoo pockets his now freezing hands. He's always been weak against the cold. Wonwoo's sure if he was still with Jeonghan the elder would hand him a hot pack or two or Seokmin would warm his hands up with his own. But Wonwoo shakes that thought out of his head because he's with Seungcheol. His with Sol. 

They get in line quietly, both of them looking up at the list of drinks. There were five people in line in front of them and there were already two people lining up behind them. Seungcheol was looking around the place and Wonwoo did too. The place was half empty. Well, it is a saturday night, after all so Wonwoo can't say he's surprised. When the guy in front of the line moves to the other counter to wait for his drink, Seungcheol takes a deep breath.

"Are you disappointed that it's me?" Seungcheol asks in this quiet and soft voice. Wonwoo whips his head in shock, looking at Seungcheol for even thinking of such a thing. He was about to joke about it, the way they usually would, but he saw the look on Seungcheol's face as he looks at the floor in front of his feet. He stares at the space between his black converse and the white vans in front of him and he stares at it like it's the saddest thing he's ever seen. So Wonwoo swallows his pride, and swallows the spit backing up on his throat, and leans in clsoe to Seungcheol. 

"Surprised? Yeah. But not disappointed. You can be anyone else in this room and I'd never be disappointed." Wonwoo says and he hears Seungcheol take in a sharp breath. A blush starts creeping up his neck and Wonwoo smiles as Seungcheol turns his head away.

"If anything, i thought you'd be disappointed." Wonwoo admits as the couple in front of the line moved to the side. And it's true. He's present for more or less half of the things Seokmin and Jeonghan goes to, he barely participates in class and he's barely passing his classes as well. He's a mess and he keeps messing up. He's barely social and when he does participate in social events, he lasts for maybe an hour before he slips out of the room silently and either walks back to his dorm or walk to the nearest 7eleven and buys a large cheap coffee and savors it on his way home. That's literally his whole college life.

"Why would you think i'd ever be dissapointed with what you look like?" 

"Not about what i look like... I mean... you know how I am, now. You know how Wonwoo is."

"Yeah. And I know how Icarus is, too." Seungcheol adds and Wonwoo scoffs and rolls his eyes.

"You know what I mean."

"Yeah. So? Do you want me to be disappointed?" Seungcheol asks and Wonwoo and Wonwoo doesn't know how to answer.

"I don't know?" Wonwoo says. Seungcheol chuckles and shakes his head.

"We're ridiculous." Seungcheol says and Wonwoo nods.

"Agreed."

"But... It's nice to finally meet you. As Wonwoo." Seungcheol says and Wonwoo nods.

"Nice to meet you, too." Wonwoo says and they moved forward the line. They waitin comfortable silence as they wait for the couple in front of them to finish their order. They order their drinks, waited for a few minutes, and decided to just go outside and wander as they talk. Wonwoo smiles and thanks Seungcheol when he opens the door for him and Seungcheol laughs when Wonwoo blushes.

They walk around the block a couple of times, talking about their lives. How Icarus lives as Wonwoo and how Seungcheol has lived as Sol. Seungcheol explained how he found one of Wonwoo's poems while he was looking up Icarus' story for their literature class and he got hooked. He then made another email to contact 'icarus' and that's that. 

Seungcheol was, for lack of a better term, electric. His steps were fast and lively and his voice was soft but loud. He'd laugh at the funny parts of his own story and Wonwoo would laugh along. Not because he finds it funny, but because it felt right to laugh along with the elder. He finishes his story when they reach a small convenience store and they sat on the chairs outside and just catch their breaths.

"I feel like I'm the only one talking tonight." Seungcheol says from beside him and Wonwoo nods.

"Seems fair."

"How is that fair."

"We only ever talk about my poems. Now i get to hear about you." Wonwoo says and Seungcheol smiles down at his cup infront of him. 

"I'm just me." Seungcheol says and Wonwoo scoffs.

"You say that like it's a bad thing." Wonwoo says and Seungcheol laughs humorlessly.

"It's not. But- But sometimes I feel like I'm more me as Sol and Seungcheol's just my secret identity." Seungcheol says. Wonwoo can relate to that. 

" 'Our names could be the most dangerous things on the planet and I'd still gladly scream out yours.' " Wonwoo quotes him and Seungcheol tensed up.

"Did you mean that?" Wonwoo asks and Seungcheol nods, not looking at him. Wonwoo slowly takes Seungcheol's left hand in his right hand and interlocks their fingers.

"I think you're the only one weaponizing your name." Wonwoo says. Seungcheol stares at their hands as Wonwoo continues.

"You're you when you're Sol and you're you when you're Seungcheol. I feel like now you think you should separate them more just because I know them both when it should be the opposite." Seungcheol squeezes his hand and Wonwoo turns his head so he was looking straight in front. 

"You're you. Sol isn't any better than Seungcheol just like how Superman isn't any better than Clark." Wonwoo says and he pretends to not see Seungcheol staring at him from the corner of his eyes. 

"You're not... Don't restrict yourself with labels like that." Wonwoo says and Seungcheol squeezes his hand again. 

"I feel like I should apologize." Seungcheol says and Wonwoo huffs out a laugh

"Damn right, you do." 

"Well, I'm sorry, Louise Lane." Seungcheol says and Wonwoo lets go of his hand and throws his hand on the table. Seungcheol laughs at Wonwoo and apologizes by wrapping his arms around Wonwoo's waist and pulling him close. 

Wonwoo finishes his coffee there and they decided to walk back to their dorm. 

"Can I hold your hand?" Seungcheol asked and Wonwoo answers by intertwining their fingers once again.

"Don't get any ideas. My hands are just cold." Wonwoo lies with a blank face and Seungcheol nods. 

"You're hand is pretty cold." Seungcheol says and Wonwoo lets himself be pulled in close.

After that, they walked in silence, Seungcheol's and effectively thawing Wonwoo's right hand. 

"Do you know why i asked you to watch tonight? Why i wanted to meet you?" Seungcheol asked after a while. They're about a few more blocks away from Wonwoo's dorm and Wonwoo answers by shaking his head no.

"Well... I wanted to confess to you. That i like you." Seungcheol says outright and Wonwoo's steps falter for a moment.

"You told me not to, like, separate Sol form Seungcheol, right? Well this is Seungcheol's confidence and Sol's thoughts." Seungcheol says. They keep walking for another block before Wonwoo realizes he hasn't answered yet.

"So you like me." Wonwoo asks and Seungcheol nods. Wonwoo's not sure if he's red from the cold or if Seungcheol's just blushing. 

"Would I be a dick if i just said thank you?" Wonwoo teases and Seungcheol laughs. 

"Very much so, yeah." Seungcheol says in between laughs and Wonwoo smiles.

"I don't want you to- well, of course I'd like you to say you like me, too. Of course I do. But you don't have to say anything. I just... I'm being extremely brave tonight." Seungcheol says and Wonwoo nods.

"Well, i don't not like you." Wonwoo admits. Well, sort of admits, anyways. Seungcheol smiles at him, this dorky smile he does whenever he's drunk, and Wonwoo quickens his pace. He pulls Seungcheol by the hand and Seungcheol laughs as he lets himself be pulled. 

  


When they reach Wonwoo's dorm, something clicks. Wonwoo's not sure what it was, but something changes. Suddenly he feels that panopticon feeling. Like someone could be watching and see him doing this. Pulling Seungcheol up the stairs to his floor and walking quietly as they make they way to his door. His skin suddenly feels hotter than it should, especially the skin on his hands that touches Seungcheol. They pad through the hallway and stops in front of a door with a '27' on top.

They stood there,

facing each other, 

not saying anything. 

Seungcheol's hand was still in his. Or is it his hand that's still in Seungcheol's? Either way, it looks like their hands have no intention of breaking up. Or, at least, that's what it seems like to Wonwoo. 

"Would it be weird if you stay the night here?" Wonwoo aks and Seungcheol puts in a smug smile.

"Is this you asking me to stay the night?" Seungcheol asks and Wonwoo rolls his eyes.

"Good night, then. Be careful on your way home." Wonwoo says as he lets go of Seungcheol's hand and tries to reach for the door. Seungcheol laughs and stops Wonwoo by grabbing his wrists. 

"Alright alright sorry. Okay. To answer you honestly, it kind of feels weird for me to stay. I mean, it's kind of like our first day of knowing each other." Seungcheol says and Wonwoo scoffs.

"I've known you for over a year, Cheol." Wonwoo says and immediately regrets the nickname. Seungcheol's smile widens even more and Wonwoo feels like exploding.

"Fine, you're officially not invited in my room. You can go now." Wonwoo says and Seungcheol laughs.

"You're just gonna kick Cheol away like that? Harsh." Seungcheol teases and Wonwoo can't help but smile as he tries to free his wrists. Seungcheol then lets got of his wrists and held Wonwoo's hands in his. 

"Do you want me to stay?" Seungcheol asks and Wonwoo really does want him to stay. 

"Honestly? Yeah. Is it weird that i kind of don't want out first meeting to end?" Wonwoo aks and Seungcheol laughs softly.

"You keep asking if things seems weird." Seungcheol points out and Wonwoo shrugs. 

"You're not a sixty year old pervert with a sex dungeon, are you?" Seungcheol asks and Wonwoo glares at him.

"What?" Seungcheol asks.

"I'm just looking out for myself here." Seungcheol says and Wonwoo rolls his eyes before letting go of one of Seungcheol's hands to dig for the keys in his jeans. 

Jeonghan would skin him alive if he knew but he wants Seungcheol to stay. He's been wanting to meet Sol for months so Wonwoo's not gonna pretend that he doesn't want him here. Seungcheol probably knows him more than Jeonghan and Seokmin. Or maybe he just knows him as good as Jeonghan and Seokmin. Either way, Wonwoo knows it shouldn't be a big deal to ask Seungcheol to stay over. Jeonghan and Seokmin always stay over. They do. So this isn't weird. It's not. 

Five minutes of convincing himself that it not weird was still not enough so Wonwoo leaves it at that.

Right now, Seungcheol's in his bathroom washing up, changing into the largest clothes Wonwoo has in his closet, while Wonwoo waits for him in his bed, already changed. 

He thinks about what's happenign right now, what's actually happening right now in his dorm.

He met Sol. 

He finally met him. 

Wonwoo scolds himself for feeling giddy about it but he doesn't care. He finally met him and he's in his room.

He's in his room wearing Wonwoo's old shirt and a pair of Wonwoo's sweatpants that clings to his legs. 

"This shirt has to be massive on you." Seungcheol says and Wonwoo nods. 

"I like it. It's soft." Wonwoo says and lies back down on the bed. 

"The offer is still there, you know." Wonwoo says as Seungcheol fixes the comforter and blanket on the floor by Wonwoo's bed and sits on the edge of the bed.

"I'm not sleeping on your bed, Wonwoo." Seungcheol says and Wonwoo rolls his eyes.

"I'm not... I barely move in my sleep. And the bed is big enough for us two." Wonwoo says and Seungcheol laughs.

"Thanks Wonwoo, but it's still a no.

"I'm not gonna seduce you, i promise." Wonwoo jokes and Seungcheol laughs louder.

"Right. Well... I can't promise the same." Seungcheol says and Wonwoo feels himself blush. Seungcheol smiles at him and sits down on the floor. He lies down and Wonwoo scoot over at the edge, he turns off the lamp and lets the moonlight form outside seep in through his curtains.

Wonwoo turns to his side and looks down at Seungcheol on the floor. Wonwoo drapes his left arm down and Seungcheol holds onto his hand. 

"Jeonghan's gonna have a field day when he finds out you're this clingy with me." Seungcheol teases and Wonwoo's too tired to let it affect him. 

"Hey Seungcheol?" 

"Yeah?" Seungcheol was playing with his fingers as he speaks.

"I just want to say thank you." Seungcheol looks at him, confused.

"Thank you?" Seungcheol asks.

"Yeah." 

"Thank me for what?" Seungcheol grabs his hand again and Wonwoo takes a deep breath.

"For being you. For getting to know me. For liking me back." Wonwoo says and Suengcheol lets go of his hand to cup his jaw, his thumb brushing over his cheek.

"Don't thank me for that." Seungcheol says. He then pulls back his hand, takes hold of Wonwoo's, and lifts it up to his lips and places a gentle kiss on the back of Wonwoo's hand. 

  


And that's how they stay like for the rest of the night. Wonwoo with his cheek pressed on his pillow as he smiles down at Seungcheol while Seungcheol smiles back up at him, his hand a gentle and constant pressure on Wonwoo's. Wonwoo would close his eyes and Seungcheol would ask if he's asleep already and Wonwoo would reply with a yes. Seungcheol would squeeze his hand and he would squeeze back. He would sneak in a peak and see Seungcheol with his eyes close as well. He'd squeeze again and Seungcheol would squeeze back with his eyes still closed.

Wonwoo lets himself relax. He closes his eyes, takes a deep breath, and imagines that he's alone in the room. 

But Seungcheol squeezes his hand right then and Wonwoo smiles. 

He's not alone. He's not alone in his space and he's fine. He's not alone but he's fine.

**Author's Note:**

> Someone told me they liked my writing but all I wrote was "senseless smut" so this is me shutting them up. 
> 
> Nothing fuels me more than spite. 
> 
> The poems I used here are all mine. I go by Icarus Fray in Hello Poetry but types are kinda empty so yeah. 
> 
> Thank you for reading (｡’▽’｡)♡


End file.
